Our First Christmas

I think that as far as first Christmas's go, ours was a winner. We did nothing at all and it was wonderful! After sleeping in til almost afternoon we spent the entire day watching movies and playing with our puppies. I think that everybody should have the oppurtunity to spend Christmas alone and with no obligations and no chores. This may have to become a tradition in my house. Perhaps I should dedicate one day a month to just vegging on the couch or playing a game together. That is my new years resolution, a bit too early perhaps but worthwhile all the same!

Can you believe that it is a mere 9 days til Christmas? It seem's like this year has gone by much faster than those in the past. I am a reminiscer (I don't think that is actually a word) and so I spend most of my time around this time of year thinking about years past. Last year was very special for me and my close friends because we got to spend it together for perhaps the last time in a very long time. Now my best friend Rileigh is in a different country and my bestest friend plans on marrying him and moving there with him. It's sad for me but I know it is a happy and exciting time for them so I try to smile.

This year is my first as a wife and so I am trying to be all domestic and bake Christmas goodies. I have a long to do list before my family comes to my house for a Christmas gathering but I have inlisted the help of my brother and his girlfriend. He will do anything for food!

I mad Caramel Corn for the first time last night and I was quite surprised with how it turned out. I guess I do remember some of the things my Mom tried so hard to teach me! My gift buying is almost complete and my house is decorated so I am ready to enjoy this Christmas with my husband! Christmas day is going to be just the two of us and I am really looking forward to a tranquil holiday. So often holidays are less than enjoyable because of all the work that must go into them. I hope that this year will be different.

As always December is a bittersweet month for us and hours. Not only is it the last month of a year that we will never see again but it once again marks an anniversary of a dreadful moment in our lives. My dearest friends and I were changed thoroughly 3 years ago and our lives have not been the same since. I look forward to spending the Season with my family but I pray for some solace for a family that is no longer whole. Time does not heal all wounds as the saying says but it does soothe them. I trust my pain to Christ and I pray that they also will be able to give up their sorrow to God and let a tragedy be turned to something good in His name.

Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas already?

I just got an e-mail saying that Christmas is only 43 days away! That doesn't seem possible! Have you ever wondered why they put the two largest and most expensive holidays so close together? I am getting a head start on Christmas this year. I have decided that I will shop early and decorate as soon as I can so then I can focus on how wonderful this season really is! I get to shop for children this year again and that is my favorite part of it all. Why aren't adult gifts as much fun as kids? I already bought my husbands present so I have that one out of the way but I am still stumped for almost everyone else!

My brother is always difficult! He always asks for socks. It gets really boring buying him socks every year! I had a great idea for him this year though! In fact I had two great ideas so I gave away one to his girlfriend.

Dad is difficult but this year I just decided that I would go simple with him and make him a pie. He seems to appreciate that more than anything else anyway!

Since the economy is in such a slump this year I have decided to put a price limit on every gift I buy. I don't know how easy that is going to be though especially when it comes to my nephews!

If anyone has any grand ideas for holidays I would love to hear them! We are all going to be a little crunched for money this year and I would love to hear how you are handling that!

Nostalgia

I love the smell of fall in Hastings. It smells of the bread factory and ethanol with a crisp coolness to the air that reminds me of apple tree. It brings back so many wonderful memories of the days spent here. I love the way the colors change all of a sudden here. There is no slow bleeding of colors from green to brown. It is almost instant. One day they are a lovely green and the next they are the brown that lets you know, winter is coming. It helps you remember how quickly things can change. I find it amazing that everyone I know seeks to get away from this community and I can't seem to bury myself deep enough into it. God sure knew where I belonged. I am looking forward to a walk tonite in the brisk fall air with the scents of fall surrounding my husband and I as we pick our usual fall/winter conversation. He hates winter you see. I think he is insane. I look forward to our first snowfall and how beautiful the ground looks for those first few undisturbed hours. He will tell me that snow is awful and that we shouldn't talk about it because it makes him depressed and I will tell him that he has to take me sledding and he will say no. Ahhh, I love fall!

Can anyone tell that I am easily amused?

Back to the real world

So I took two days off of being an adult. I spent a great Sunday afternoon with two of the best friends a girl could want. We watched movies and talked until 2:30 in the morning. It's a good thing I don't work Monday mornings! Now it is back to the real world. I am at school today working on some projects I don't understand.
This week another of my friends is entering the married life. I am leaving on Thursday to help her with all of the work that a venture like this requires.
In another couple of weeks I will be shopping with another friend for her wedding dress. We are all growing up. Pretty soon we will be scattered across states and continents. As we grow up I tend to miss the old days. I truly miss the days when our biggest worry was our homework.
I suppose we have to grow up but I do wish that time would go by slower!

I intend on preserving these friendships. No matter how hard it is across an ocean or a stateline! We are friends and I intend on keeping it that way. So often people stop communicating when there is distance between them. I know I have done it.

I am not sure what my life will be like without my sisters. That is what they are to me, sisters. I don't know how I am going to feel when I can't just pick up the phone and call them whenever I want or spend a weekend with them for no other reason than because I want to.

This is such a bittersweet time on our lives because we are all moving on to what we have always wanted but at the same time we are going to lose these connections that have been there for so long. I guess that is the price we pay for moving on. Does anyone else wish Never-Never-Land was real?

Sometimes my life is confuddled. Have you ever had those moments? There are so many things to do and so many choices to make and I never know what the right ones are.

In times like these I like to curl up into a ball and watch T.V. I can't do that anymore. I am an adult now. I don't like it.

How do you go from being a happy go lucky teenager/college student with no big life choices to being a grown up with a whole bunch of them. This weekend I am reverting back to my less responsible days and I am going to spend the weekend on the couch, with my friends. We are going to watch nonsense movies and chill out.

I can avoid being a grown up for another couple of days.

My Girl

In my last post I wrote about how it was important not to throw yourself into a relationship too quickly. I wrote that as a woman we need to rely on our girlfriends for our emotional support until the wedding. I got alot of input on that subject and I really appreciate that!

I would like to reiterate that as a girl my emotional needs are still met by some women in my life and I don't rely completely on my husband for all of them. I know that sounds strange, seeing as how I believe that marriage is sacred and that no other person should ever compare to your spouse, but I honestly believe that we need other people(friends) in our lives. I don't know everything about marriage especially since mine is so new but I do know that I should not ever complain about something if it is going to hurt my husbands feelings or cause him in any way to resent me. When I need to vent about something that is of that nature I simply call my BF. She always understands. She also never tries to fix it! As much as I love my husband, I don't always want a solution! Sometimes I just want to complain! Girls are so much better at that.

While there are parts of my relationship with my husband that I do not discuss with my BF, there is nothing about me that she does not know. She knows all of my hopes and dreams as well as my weaknesses and faults. I need her there for me. My relationship with my husband is something that I hold very near and dear to my heart and I cherish his input but he loves me and he doesn't always notice the things that a BF does. She is my catalyst, the person to put me back in my place. She never worries about hurting my feelings and I need that.

Without good friends a woman tends to lose her self. I am determined to be me and I need someone in my life who will remind me who that is. No matter how much it hurts!

Our Wedding Day

I have decided to write another blog....this one I hope to keep up on!


I have a friend who is in need of some help. It isn’t a dire need or an unusual one but rather something almost every girl faces at some point or another. Sadly enough, the world gives out the worst advice on this matter.

This friend has gone through a terrible breakup that had alot of heartache involved and now she has been dumped again. On the verge of hating men and not wanting to ever be involved again, I want to give her some advice. Please give me your input on this matter!

When one of my previous boyfriends broke up with me, God worked it all out for the best and I learned a valuable lesson. I had been ignoring my best friends and focusing my energy on a relationship that was much shallower than the ones with my friends. I learned that in order to be the best partner for someone else, you have to be your best person! I focused on God and my friends and then when my husband asked me out I treated it differently. I wasn’t afraid of what he would think of my because I knew that I was a good and strong person. Most importantly, my husband and I cultivated a friendship in the beginning of our dating relationship. We didn’t fall head over heels for eachother. Being friends with him made me able to trust him first and then love him.

I think it is important in every womans life to be on your own for awhile. Learn that you don’t need a man in your life, become dependant upon God and rely on your friends for the emotional and moral support that you need and then when you are in that relationship, you can slowly(and I mean really slowly) transfer those needs over to him. Too often girls throw themselves into a relationship and rely on those men for all of their emotional needs instead of their friends. That is why it hurts so bad when you break up. Rely on God! Then rely in that girl in your life. The one that is always there for you. Let her be the one you go to! Until the day we got married, Kelsey was still the one who I relied on to vent to, to hear advice from and to know that she is always on my side. Still now she is my girl. Always keep those girls close. Girlfriends last a lot longer than boyfriends!

I think that if we all took time to get to know a person before we transfer that emotion and faith into them that we wouldn’t be so easily heartbroken. Dont get me wrong though, a little heartbreak is good for everyone but there is no need to intentionally put yourself in a situation where you could be hurt so severely. I trust my husband with all of my heart and soul but I took a long time to get there. We had a very shallow relationship for a couple of months before I felt like we were truly friends. After that point I slowly allowed myself to put my trust in him. Now he knows every hope and dream, but if I had placed all of that on him to begin with, I don’t know how we would have turned out.

Besides protecting yourself, there is another reason why you shouldnt put everything into your relationship at once. It freaks guys out! At this moment if you asked my husband what his honest opinion of me was, he would tell you that I am crazy, obsessive compulsive and embarassing! He loves me now so he doesn’t really mind it. In fact I think he fell in love with the crazy part! Now imagine if I had let loose all of the crazy parts of me on the first date….”I hate pork! My laundry is organized by type, then size, then color. I dont want anybody ever putting anything out of place and I think that people who messy are evil!” Do you think there would have been a second date?

I don’t claim to know everything about relationships but I do know that God want’s us to guard our hearts! Our hearts belong to God and he wants us to be careful and wise!
Any imput would be greatly appreciated!