I have decided to write another blog....this one I hope to keep up on!


I have a friend who is in need of some help. It isn’t a dire need or an unusual one but rather something almost every girl faces at some point or another. Sadly enough, the world gives out the worst advice on this matter.

This friend has gone through a terrible breakup that had alot of heartache involved and now she has been dumped again. On the verge of hating men and not wanting to ever be involved again, I want to give her some advice. Please give me your input on this matter!

When one of my previous boyfriends broke up with me, God worked it all out for the best and I learned a valuable lesson. I had been ignoring my best friends and focusing my energy on a relationship that was much shallower than the ones with my friends. I learned that in order to be the best partner for someone else, you have to be your best person! I focused on God and my friends and then when my husband asked me out I treated it differently. I wasn’t afraid of what he would think of my because I knew that I was a good and strong person. Most importantly, my husband and I cultivated a friendship in the beginning of our dating relationship. We didn’t fall head over heels for eachother. Being friends with him made me able to trust him first and then love him.

I think it is important in every womans life to be on your own for awhile. Learn that you don’t need a man in your life, become dependant upon God and rely on your friends for the emotional and moral support that you need and then when you are in that relationship, you can slowly(and I mean really slowly) transfer those needs over to him. Too often girls throw themselves into a relationship and rely on those men for all of their emotional needs instead of their friends. That is why it hurts so bad when you break up. Rely on God! Then rely in that girl in your life. The one that is always there for you. Let her be the one you go to! Until the day we got married, Kelsey was still the one who I relied on to vent to, to hear advice from and to know that she is always on my side. Still now she is my girl. Always keep those girls close. Girlfriends last a lot longer than boyfriends!

I think that if we all took time to get to know a person before we transfer that emotion and faith into them that we wouldn’t be so easily heartbroken. Dont get me wrong though, a little heartbreak is good for everyone but there is no need to intentionally put yourself in a situation where you could be hurt so severely. I trust my husband with all of my heart and soul but I took a long time to get there. We had a very shallow relationship for a couple of months before I felt like we were truly friends. After that point I slowly allowed myself to put my trust in him. Now he knows every hope and dream, but if I had placed all of that on him to begin with, I don’t know how we would have turned out.

Besides protecting yourself, there is another reason why you shouldnt put everything into your relationship at once. It freaks guys out! At this moment if you asked my husband what his honest opinion of me was, he would tell you that I am crazy, obsessive compulsive and embarassing! He loves me now so he doesn’t really mind it. In fact I think he fell in love with the crazy part! Now imagine if I had let loose all of the crazy parts of me on the first date….”I hate pork! My laundry is organized by type, then size, then color. I dont want anybody ever putting anything out of place and I think that people who messy are evil!” Do you think there would have been a second date?

I don’t claim to know everything about relationships but I do know that God want’s us to guard our hearts! Our hearts belong to God and he wants us to be careful and wise!
Any imput would be greatly appreciated!